When I was but a wee geek, I was obsessed with everything Nintendo. So naturally I didn’t miss the Super Mario Bros. show with Captain Lou Albano. Occasionally besides showing a Mario cartoon, or awkward live action with Lou as a very Brooklyn (Flatbush) inspired Mario, they would also show a legend of Zelda cartoon.
This was a treat because it came on infrequently and It was just so different from Mario.
Well I watched the first episode this morning and while it’s far from perfect it’s hilarious now in an entirely new way.
So many strange things are happening in this Americanized version of Zelda that I just had to list them all here.
The first episode (The Ringer) starts off much to my dismay…with Link fighting Moblins in his PJ’s. And by PJ’s I mean a small cut nightgown. This is just distracting….why couldn’t he get some phat ass Hyrulian pants or something, or tights even. But nooooo we need to see Link sword fighting with what looks like hospital scrubs.
A lot of my problems start and end with Link. Such as:
Why the hell does he sound like he’s from Jersey? And why does he act like he’s from Jersey (being a dick; though not in that special way Mr. Lawrence speaks about in Macking for Geeks.)
Link is a Jerk with a bad, bad mullet (not like Kurt Russell’s sexy man mane in Big Trouble in Little China.)
And his sword kind of reminds me of the sword of Omens cause it’s so damn short and it can shoot pink beams (seriously SFX animators, why is pink the color of choice for so many 80’s/90’s action cartoons using some form of magical/laser energy beams?) but it never ever gets bigger than Sting ( Frodo Baggin’s sword. If you didn’t know that well…..you’re probably cooler than I am.)
Zelda is a complete Bitch, but then again Link is a dick so they’re perfect for each other and Sprite looks strangely like Julia Roberts as Tinkerbell in Hook.
I was surprised the animation wasn’t as bad as I was expecting (Though it’s still pretty bad, just not to that standard of face shifting and visual awkwardness that G.I. Joe and He-man mastered.)
And the music was all straight out of the game and was probably the best thing about the cartoon.
I abhorred that they used video game sound effects anytime ole’ pig face (if you don’t get this, why are you on this site?) used magic. It took you out of the world of Hyrule they tried to create (which unfortunately wasn’t very creative.)
Wh….what…..WHAT THE HELL? Is that an Indian Elf….WHOA…..apparantly there’s Indian Magicians living in Hyrule. Watch the episode to find out what I mean.
Pieces of the Triforce shouldn’t speak, they also shouldn’t be in easily accessible drafty towers.
Overall there’s a lot of funny and strange interpretations of Zelda’s world. It really is fun to watch…and if you don’t like it….Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me?!?